


Rekindled

by cheile (Cheile)



Category: seaQuest
Genre: Alternate Universe, Episode: s01e09 Bad Water, F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-05 02:24:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1088482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheile/pseuds/cheile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of "Bad Water", Katie must come to terms with her unresolved feelings for her ex-husband.  AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rekindled

**Author's Note:**

  * For [modestroad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/modestroad/gifts).



> Author's note: File this under "where the hell does the muse GET these ideas?!" LOL. I blame the show's writers for leaving so many things unsaid/unexplored. (But then again, that's half the fun of fic, right?)
> 
> Legal B.S.: seaQuest DSV and all canon elements are owned by Rockne O'Bannon, Amblin and NBC. Only the story belongs to me.
> 
> Big time thanks: to my dear AppleBlossom for beta services rendered. :)
> 
> Dedication: To ModestRoad - happy (very!) belated birthday and Merry Christmas :)

 

 

 

Hurricanes were nothing but a hassle.

Katie Hitchcock's eyes kept flitting back to the upper right corner of her monitor, watching the swirling cloud on the radar map that was Hurricane Sheila continue to creep westward.  The numbers scrolling slowly across the bottom of the image were evidence of the barometric fluctuations, atmospheric temperature changes and rising wind speed.  At the rate this one was building up, it was not going to be pretty once it made landfall.  Given _seaQuest's_ current mission was to locate a downed sightseeing sub with small children onboard, one might almost think it wouldn't affect them beyond the helmsmen having to deal with rogue currents.  But it did because four of her fellow crewmembers were upworld right in the middle of it.

She had never experienced a hurricane personally, but had seen more than enough of the damage that one could leave behind.  During her last posting on the _Minnesota_ , their ship had been one of many sent to New Cape Quest in the aftermath of Hurricane Daphne two years ago.  The widespread devastation had been one of the most horrifying things she had ever seen in her life and had only reaffirmed her belief that she'd rather deal with blizzards any day.

 _"Anything on your end?"_   Tim O'Neill's voice over her headset distracted her from her thoughts.  She knew he wasn't talking to her because if he had, he would have addressed her.  The off-the-wall magnetic readings and instrument problems _seaQuest_ was experiencing were being blamed on the fact that they, as well as the downed sub they were seeking, were in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle--and she knew it was bothering him.

 _"Zip.  All my readings are cockamamie."_   Miguel Ortiz's voice echoed back in response, the aggravation clear.  
  
_"I'm looking at the same weird signals.  I can't help but think of those French kids slowly suffocating."_  
  
_"Well don't, Tim,"_ the sensor chief urged. _"Concentrate on finding them._ "  
  
A grumbled huff from O'Neill.  _"I never was any good at math."_

 _"I_ was _and I still can't keep up."_ A note of amusement crept into Miguel's voice. _"It's the Triangle_."

Tim's next words were tinged with scorn.  _"You don't really believe that hokum, do you?"_  
  
_"Superstitions get started for a reason.  People disappear here, Tim."  
_

Suddenly, she couldn't stand it anymore.  It was one thing to share frustrations over the unnatural phenomena disrupting their rescue efforts, but another to even suggest the idea that they might never find the kids--or rescue the away team.  "Knock it off, you guys," she said sharply into her headset.

Both glanced over their shoulders at her in puzzlement; normally, she ignored their idle chatter as long as they did their work.  But giving them a glare in response seemed to drive the point home.  Thankfully, Captain Bridger arrived a few moments later, providing a welcome distraction.  The lightning strike that fried the communications buoy shortly thereafter was an even bigger distraction.  In a sense, she was almost grateful for it despite all the problems it caused and the extra work it made for her.  It meant she didn't have time to dwell on her friends being out in the middle of that hurricane.

The next couple hours were full of tension--a literal race against the clock as she worked to cut one of the WSKRs open and hook the bridge stations up to it in an attempt to provide back-up power.  Between that and information gleaned from Darwin, they were finally able to locate and retrieve both the sightseeing sub, as well as the away team.  The former was harrowing due to the smaller sub's weight adding to their own, but the latter was extremely frustrating.  Carleton and the helm officers had to struggle to keep _seaQuest_ as steady as they could against the turbulent surface currents, while she closely monitored the engines to make sure they would not overload from the strain put on them.

 _I_ really _hate hurricanes._

Her work wasn't done once both the French kids and their own people had been rescued, either.  Going down to the engine room, she had realized how severe the scope of the damage that their encounter with the lightning had wrought.  Her initial suspicion that they would need to drydock was accurate; in fact, a complete systems refit was going to be needed in order for _seaQuest_ to do anything but limp to the nearest shipyard.  It was a good thing they were so close to Florida and therefore, the New Cape Quest docks.  Had they been further out to sea, their problems would have been much worse.

By the time she'd finished, it was nearly 0200 and she had just enough energy to get cleaned up and then fall into her bunk, sinking into sleep the moment she got comfortable, her intention to stop by medbay forgotten.  When she awoke again, she was shocked to realize she'd slept nearly twelve hours.  Discovering a message from the captain on her personal console relieved her inner panic somewhat; they were due to dock in NCQ late the next morning and, since the systems refit could only be done there, he was giving her the day off to rest because there was nothing more to be done until they were drydocked.

While having the day off after the chaos of yesterday was appreciated, part of her almost felt guilty for being idle when there was so much work needing to be done.  Going through the backlog of reports on her console only took two hours.  She was about ready to throw on a uniform and go down to the engine room anyway when she realized that she had never stopped by medbay to see how the away team members were doing. 

 _Well, I did intend on stopping down there._   And surely, at least one of the away team would be awake.  Visiting would easily kill time and it would cheer them up.  She knew from personal experience that being stuck in medbay was the pits--and, to some people, it was said to be worse than being confined to quarters.

As she headed out of her quarters, Katie found her thoughts straying to Ben.  Born and raised in Florida, her ex-husband was no stranger to hurricanes and would have likely been the one who had handled the experience the best.  But then again, there was a definite difference between preparing for a hurricane with plenty of warning and having safe shelter versus little warning and being stuck out on a raft right in the midst of it.  So she couldn't help the hint of concern that had been nagging her for the entire day.

Part of her wondered why the hell it mattered that much to her.  Their marriage had lasted a year and fifteen days and had ended in disaster.  To this day, she couldn't bring herself to think about the cause of their split; it was simply too painful.  Finding out that Ben had been assigned to _seaQuest_ had been a shock at first, but she had managed thus far and they were slowly becoming friends again.  There were even occasional moments when she caught glimpses of the man she had once loved behind the could-care-less façade he had of late.

"Afternoon, Commander Hitchcock.  Anything I can do for you?"

Startled out of her reverie by Joshua Levin's voice, Katie realized she had arrived in medbay.  She shook her head.  "I'm fine, Doctor."  She spotted Jonathan asleep on the bed furthest from the doorway, his back facing her.  Doc Westphalen was in the bed across from the XO, propped up with pillows and a cup of tea in her hands, talking quietly with the captain, who was sitting by her bedside.  "I just came down to see how the away team was doing."

"They're doing well for the most part.  All of them had minor injuries, but hypothermia was the biggest concern, initially.  Commander Ford is being monitored for pneumonia but, so far, there are no signs and hopefully it remains that way."

Lucas lay in the bed next to Jonathan and he offered Katie a drowsy smile and a wave.  She smiled back at him before realizing who was missing.  "Where's Lieutenant Krieg?"

"He insisted on being released as soon as it was advisable."  Levin shook his head in mild exasperation.  "Claimed he wouldn't be able to sleep in medbay."

"Sounds like him," she agreed, suppressing a smile at the mental picture that brought to mind.  
  
"I released him about two hours ago.  He swore he would go to his quarters and straight to bed.  I hope he meant that."  
  
"I'm sure he did, Doctor."  Katie decided that she would check on him herself.  Knowing Ben, he probably did intend to go right to bed.  But if he was restless, there was a chance he might still be awake. 

As if reading her mind, Levin raised an eyebrow.  "Remind him of my warning to confine him to medbay if he hasn't kept his word."

Katie couldn't help the snicker that burst free.  "Oh, I'll drag him back here myself if I find him anywhere other than his quarters."  Heading for the door, she added, "Thanks, Doc."

"You're welcome, Commander."

As she left medbay, Katie wondered where the sudden impulse to check on Ben had come from.  Since Levin had seen fit to release him, persuaded or not, he was obviously well enough to be unattended.  And it wasn't like he couldn't take care of himself.

 _What does it matter if I do check on him?_ she thought with a shake of her head. _Despite our past, I still consider him a friend._

_Because it's more than being concerned for a friend.  
_

She frowned at the mental retort from her conscience.  _I'd do the same for Jonathan or Lucas or the doc.  And they're all friends as well.  So what's the difference if I do it for Ben?  
_

_Because the difference_ is _that it's Ben.  Admit it, Hitchcock--you still have feelings for him._

"I do not!"  She startled herself with the out loud exclamation, which seemed to echo down the corridor.  Hurriedly, she glanced around to make sure that no one had heard her.  Thankfully, the corridor was empty.

 _Liar,_ her inner voice retorted sweetly.

Sighing in annoyance and telling her mind to shut up, she hurried up the stairs to B deck.  She was at his door within minutes.  Seeing that the privacy screen was already drawn over the window, she hesitated before reaching out to knock lightly.  She thought she heard movement within after her knock, but wasn't sure.  A couple minutes passed with no further sounds and no response.  He must have been able to fall asleep after all, not that she blamed him.  Pushing down her mild disappointment, she turned to leave and had already taken a few steps down the corridor when she heard the door open behind her.

"Katie?"

Katie turned at the sound of her name.  Ben stood in the doorway and, from his expression, he was obviously surprised to see her. 

"Hi.  I was just...stopping by to see how you were doing."

"Oh."  He gestured behind him.  "Did you want to come in, then?"

Accepting his invitation, she stepped inside and waited until he'd closed the door behind her.  Once he'd spun the latch, he turned back to face her and she could see the stress in his eyes.  For a minute, she wondered if she should apologize for disturbing him and leave.  He was obviously exhausted.  But something wouldn't allow her to voice that thought.  She didn't know what it was until she saw him shiver, which seemed odd since he was wearing his favorite Florida State sweatshirt over top of a t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants.  "Ben, are you all right?  I mean, do you need me to call Doctor Levin?"

"He can't do anything for this."

"For what?"

"I'm cold."

"Cold?" she repeated in confusion, looking again at what he was wearing.

"From being out there, you know?"  He met her gaze again and, this time, what she saw there was more than just stress.  It was a deep-seated fear.

She nodded, unsure of what to say for the moment.  He moved to slump into one of the chairs at the small table in the center of the room, rubbing a hand wearily across his eyes.  She took the chair across from him and studied his face with concern.  "Do you want to talk about it?"

Ben shook his head, then nodded with a slight chuckle.  "Not really, but I suppose I should, right?"

"Only if you want to," Katie replied softly.  "If you do, I don't mind listening."

"Well, I'd rather talk to you than Levin or some 'well-meaning' counselor."  Ben's gaze dropped to his hands where he'd folded them on the table.  "I was terrified."  The shame in his voice was almost tangible.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of, Ben.  Anyone in their right mind would have been terrified being out in that," she pointed out.

"I know."  He huffed a sigh and shook his head.  "But then there's that little voice in my head that keeps trying to tell me otherwise."

"Try not to let it get to you by telling yourself you had the right to be scared," she suggested.

"Yeah, that's one way to look at it, I guess."  He looked thoughtful for a minute.  "I guess I was trying to put on a brave face for Lucas, you know.  He was just trying to be helpful by coming with us."

"He did volunteer, though."  Katie smiled, remembering Lucas' argument that had eventually convinced Bridger to allow him to accompany the away team:  he was fluent in French and he claimed he could interact well with small children. 

"True."  Ben glanced down for a moment, then back up at her.  "So, I heard you were able to save the kids despite the lightning strike."

She nodded.  "The captain had kept the communications buoy out despite the storm.  At the time, it was an acceptable risk because we wanted to try and stay in contact with you guys.  Unfortunately, a lightning strike destroyed it."

"We saw.  We were actually near the buoy when you guys got hit.  How big of a mess did that leave you with?"

"Drydock and a complete systems refit."

"Ouch."

"Yeah.  Bridger actually gave me today off because there's nothing more that can be done until we dock tomorrow."  He nodded and rubbed a hand across his eyes again before attempting to hide a yawn behind the hand.  Feeling both reluctant to leave, yet mentally chiding herself for keeping him awake, she got to her feet.  "Maybe I should go, Ben.  You're obviously tired and it's rude of me to keep you up when you need to rest."

"I can't," he mumbled.

She sighed in mild exasperation.  "Of course you can.  You just have to get settled and comfortable and, before you know it, you'll be asleep...."

"I _can't,_ Katie.  That's why I'm still up.  I've tried.  But every time I close my eyes, all I can see is the waves--the lightning.  The black sky."  He shivered and embraced himself, rubbing his arms.  "All I can feel is the cold."  The last words were almost a whisper.

"Do you want me to stay?" 

The words were out of Katie's mouth before she realized it.  The shocked glance he cast in her direction showed he was just as surprised by the offer as she was.  In an attempt to cover her own surprise, she quickly added, "We can talk until you fall asleep.  Like we used to do."

"Would you?" 

"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to," she pointed out.  "Besides, if it was the other way around, you'd do the same for me."

"Yeah, that's true."  Ben managed a faint smile that didn't reach his eyes.  "I doubt I'll fall asleep, but I'd like it if you stayed for awhile longer, Katie.  Thanks."

"You're welcome."  She circled the table to his side and tugged at his elbow lightly.  "Now, to bed with you."

"Yes, ma'am," he cracked, winking at her when she shot him a mock glower.  But she couldn't completely suppress her slight smile, glad to see a little bit of the Ben she knew returning, even if only for a moment.  She turned down his bunk, realizing as she did so just how thin the standard-issue blankets were.  And with the way he was feeling, she knew he needed something more.  She knelt down to glance under the bunk but found only supply boxes.  It wasn't in the crate at the foot of the bunk either. 

"Katie?"

Not hearing him, she headed for the closet.  "It has to be somewhere in these quarters.  You've always insisted on carting that hideous thing everywhere...."

"Katie...what are you doing?"

"Looking for--ah-ha!"  On the closet shelf was the object of her search.  Stretching up to snag it, she caught the bundle of fleece easily in her arms and pushed the closet door closed with her foot.

"My two-time Gator Bowl champs blanket is _not_ hideous," Ben protested.  "It's...."

"'Well-loved', I know."  Shaking out the blanket, Katie fingered the frayed edge she held in her left hand and gave him a pointed look, laughing quietly at his mild scowl of offense.  "But your attachment to this thing is sort of cute."  She glanced down at the Seminoles logo, which was slightly faded with age.  "It does keep you warm, though," she added softly.

"Yeah, it does."  They looked at one another, both remembering the many nights in their first apartment, curled up on the couch together beneath the blanket.  Often, she had dozed off wrapped in his arms and would only wake up later to find him carrying her to bed.  Sometimes, she had been so soundly asleep that she hadn't woken up until the next morning.  On those mornings, she had usually awoken to find herself snugly wrapped in the blanket, the thick, soft fleece shielding her from the morning chill.

Shaking away her mind's attempt at continuing the reminiscing, she spread the blanket out on his bunk.  He had shrugged off the sweatshirt, tossing it over the nearest chair, and rubbed his arms again as he sat on the edge of the bunk.  Glancing down at the blanket, he suddenly shook his head.  "Don't know why I didn't think of this myself."

"You've been up for nearly forty-eight hours, Ben."

"Don't I know it," he muttered.  "Doc Levin is going to kill me.  He only let me leave medbay because I promised him I'd go straight to bed."

"I'm sure he'd understand you having difficulty falling asleep."  When he didn't seem convinced by her reassurance, Katie moved to sit next to him and patted the pillow with one hand.  "C'mon.  I bet you'll feel better as soon as you lay down."

Scooting back, he started to move to lay down and then suddenly sat up again.  "Wait."

"Ben...."

"This is gonna sound really cliché, but I want to tell you."  When she nodded, he took a deep breath.  "When I thought it was the end, I mean _really_ the end--that there was no chance of rescue...."  His voice trailed off into a heavy sigh before he finally turned to look at her.  "All I could think about--was you.  How I would never...see you again...."

She took his hand in hers and squeezed it gently.  "Well, I'm here now."  She winced inwardly at how ridiculous that sounded, but seeing the distress in his eyes made her heart ache.  Thankfully, he didn't seem to mind her inane comment, just squeezed her hand back.  Without thinking, she looked down at their joined hands.  It had been five years since they had last touched one another like this and she couldn't deny that even this innocent gesture of comfort stirred up more memories of what they'd had before everything had gone wrong. 

A glance back up at Ben told her he was thinking the same thing.  Their gazes locked and she found herself unable to look away.  When he leaned closer, it seemed totally natural to meet him halfway and her eyes fluttered closed as his lips gently brushed hers.  First contact was hesitant; both of them uncertain of treading down this path.  But the first kiss led to another, and another--and before long, she was wrapped in his arms, her hands clutching at his shoulders for support as long-buried emotions raged to the surface.

When he pulled back suddenly, she struggled to catch her breath, leaning her forehead against his.  For an eternal moment, they clung together until his soft question broke the silence.

"Katie...are...are you sure?" 

The passing thought that they were likely crossing the line and breaking more than one rule rose to the front of her mind but, in that moment, she found that it didn't seem to matter.  She trembled at the light caress of his fingertips on her arm but her whispered answer was steady.  "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't." 

She had a split second to absorb the stunned look in his eyes before he pulled her close to kiss her once more, this time showing no hesitation.  He pulled her into his lap without breaking the lip lock, catching one of her hands in his and lacing their fingers together.  The other hand slid beneath her shirt, trailing slowly up her spine, and she couldn't suppress her soft moan. 

She finally had to break the kiss in order to catch her breath again.  Reluctantly pulling her hand out of his, she reached for the hem of her shirt.  But he stopped her.

"Let me," he murmured, quickly pulling it up and over her head.  The rest of their clothes soon followed to land on the floor next to the bunk.  As he guided her to lay back against the pillows, she allowed her gaze to travel over him from head to toe.  There was a faint scar on his right hip and he was slightly more muscled than he had been in days past but, beyond that, he looked exactly as she remembered.  She shivered under his suddenly intense stare, wondering if he would still like what he saw, if he would find _her_ desirable after all the time they'd been apart. 

"Still so beautiful."  His reverent whisper brought a blush to her cheeks.  He trailed his fingertips lightly along her shoulder and then down to cup a breast, eliciting a soft gasp from her.  The gasp became a moan when he leaned down and his mouth closed gently over the other breast.  He lingered over teasing them for several long moments, kissing, nibbling and suckling, pausing on occasion to return to her lips.

Katie's eyes fell closed, her head spinning from all the sensations both strange and familiar.  The arousal and pleasure, she recognized easily.  But the emotional yearning--the sudden longing to never want to let him go--was something else entirely.  It confused her and she didn't want to bother with confusion right now.  Pushing it out of her mind, she opened her eyes to see him kissing a slow trail down her torso and belly.  His hands caressing her thighs made her tremble again, for she knew what his next move would be.  He glanced up at that moment to meet her gaze.  She knew he could see the anticipation and need in her eyes; the seductive, knowing smile he gave her confirmed it.

He always knew.  No one knew her better than Ben did.

Still keeping their gazes locked, he moved one hand up to take hers, twining their fingers together again.  The moment seemed to last an eternity before he lowered his head to press a light kiss to her center.  Her head fell back against the pillows and she cried out softly at the first caress of his tongue over her sensitive flesh, her hips arching up in an unspoken plea for more.  Her free hand tangled into his hair for support as the mounting sensations made her head begin to swim. 

And he didn't stop there.  His thumb traced slow circles in the palm of the hand he held, while the fingers of the other brushed teasingly up and down her thigh in counterpoint.  Each little touch added to the sweet torment, the ache of need almost unbearable.  Her head tossed back and forth on the pillows, her cries becoming slightly louder as his gentle ravishing pushed her closer and closer to the edge....

A moment later, she felt his lips brushing gently along her inner thigh.  She moaned his name in protest and tried to push him back to where she wanted him, but he resisted easily, sliding up to lay beside her and pull her against him.  The full body contact made her startlingly aware of his own arousal, and she tugged her hand free, reaching down between them.  But just as her fingertips grazed him, he caught her hand in his, bringing it up to kiss her fingers, her palm.

"Ben...please...."  The words came out in a breathless whimper and she wasn't even sure what she wanted more in that moment--to be able to touch and tease him in return, or for him to finish what he had started.

He leaned in to kiss her lightly.  "Please what, baby?"

She nipped at his lower lip in retaliation, feeling him smile before he deepened the kiss, shifting them so that she lay beneath him.  The familiar feel of his weight over her was both comforting and unnerving; the sudden heat of him pressing into her almost shocking.  His mouth on hers muffled her cry as he buried himself completely inside her with one quick thrust.  He stilled, letting her body adjust to the invasion, his hands running over her skin soothingly.  She did her best to ignore the twinges of pain, knowing they were because it had been a long time since she'd been intimate with anyone.  But already they were fading, giving way to little shivers brought about by his caressing and nuzzling. 

His hands came up to cup her face as he kissed her once more, letting it linger before breaking away to gaze down at her.  The intensity she saw in his eyes made her tremble inside.  Unconsciously, she took his hand, lacing her fingers through his once more.  Reality swiftly faded away when he began to move his hips in a slow, rocking rhythm; all of her focus centering on the pleasure--the warmth of his skin against hers, the grip of their entwined fingers, the tremors coursing through her. 

"Katie...my Katie...."  His whisper against her ear sent a stronger shudder up her spine.

"Ben...."  Her answered sigh was cut off when he captured her lips yet again.  She clung to him, moving easily with him in the sensuous, leisurely cadence that she was so familiar with, subconsciously remembering the many nights like this they had shared before.  Meeting his eyes again when he broke the kiss, Katie found herself lost in the torrent of emotion reflecting back at her--desire, passion...and love.  It was the last that stunned her, made her unable to look away.  She pulled him closer, wrapping her legs around his hips and drawing him deeper inside her.  Ben groaned softly in response, shifting to accommodate the change in angle while branding her face and throat with heated kisses.  The sweet tension was building and, try as she might, she couldn't fight it.  But even as she tightened her hold on him, arching her hips desperately to meet his, what she needed seemed just out of reach.

"That's it, Katie...."  His thrusts grew slightly faster and he nuzzled her neck, his voice dropping to a ghost of a whisper.  "Let go for me, baby...."

His soft command was enough to push her over the edge and she cried out sharply when her climax suddenly engulfed her, writhing beneath him as the shockwaves consumed her.  She was dimly aware that he was fast losing control, feeling him move more heavily against her, his grip on their joined hands tightening until it was almost painful. 

"Katie....oh God-- _Katie...."_

After a final few thrusts, he slumped against her, burying his face in her neck.  She leaned her head against his, panting softly as the aftershocks shuddered through them both.  Her legs slid from around his hips back down to the bunk, and she murmured a moan at the electric shudder the movement caused her.  Her eyes closed as she tried to find her bearing and still her pounding heart, running her hand lightly along his back in a soothing motion.  After several long moments, she heard him sigh before he shifted to separate their bodies and then rolled onto his side, bringing her with him.

In the afterglow, no words were needed; they communicated with lingering kisses and an occasional caress.  When he suddenly pulled her tight against him, she idly wondered if he was intending there to be a second round of lovemaking.  But he shivered violently a moment later and she realized he was cold.  Shushing his mumbled protest when she moved to sit up, she reached down to snag the blanket and pull it up around them.  The thick fleece settled over them, sheltering them both in its warmth.  He sighed in relief and gave her a faint smile, but didn't relax his hold on her as he moved to lay on his back.  She curled against his side, resting her head on his shoulder and laying her hand over his heart, comforted by feeling the steady beat against her fingertips.

So many nights before they had lain like this, contented in each other's closeness.  So many more nights since their split, she had spent restless, not realizing--or perhaps not wanting to admit--that this was what she had missed.  Having him there with her.  Being in his arms.  The simple comfort of holding him, of him holding her. 

The realization that she'd almost lost him was somehow frightening.  It was one thing to have been separated from him, knowing he was out there somewhere living his own life.  It was far different to imagine him gone.  And it made Katie realize that what she had been denying to herself earlier--no, denying for the last five years--was, in fact, the truth.

She still loved him.

Oddly enough, the thought didn't shock her like she assumed it would.  It was almost liberating to her weary mind to know that she could admit it, even if only to herself.  Perhaps at some point, she could even admit it to Ben--if she could bring herself to.  She snuggled closer to him, lulled both by the warmth of his body next to hers and her own exhaustion.  The sound of his slow, steady breathing made her sigh inwardly in relief, knowing he had finally been able to fall asleep.  She allowed herself to relax completely, her eyes sliding closed and her mind beginning to drift.

_Tell him...._

"I love you...."  The words slipped out unbidden in a drowsy whisper.  She knew he couldn't hear her since he was already asleep, but knew she would find a way to tell him again--some day.

The last thing she was aware of before sinking into slumber was the feel of lips brushing her temple and the murmur of Ben's voice against her skin.

"I love you more, my Katie."

 

***fin***

 

 


End file.
